Migraines

Just a little thought today.

I have a migraine. It looks something like this:

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2008/02/28/opinion/20080222_MIGRAINE_SLIDESHOW_index.html


Pick a picture, any picture. You'll have a small visual of what my day has been like. It kinda blows, but it's been my lot in life since I was THIRTEEN years old! That's a lot of life to suffer with migraines! But anyway... When I have a migraine, I get weird. Like WEIRD. Crazy creative, totally incapable of processing patterns and dealing with noise/light/stimuli/smells, totally quirky. And I realized something: in high school, my worst migraines would send me home. Some kept me in a dark, quiet room for days on end. What I realized is that people couldn't deal with me. They couldn't cope. No one understood why my right eye looked like it was closing or why I was hiding from the chemicals in the darkroom, but craving the dark room that the darkroom provided. Because I was quirky and silly and weird, it was one MORE reason to stay away. One MORE reason to avoid me...

I'm okay with it now. People do love me now and people do care and people do try to make it better. But migraines suck. They sucked when I was in high school and they sucked in college and they suck as a mommy. Just differently. Like I always say: not a different ball game, just a different inning.